I “met” Elizabeth after the first printing of Rain Dance. We connected on a heart level. It’s my pleasure to introduce my friend and her abortion journey with you. Elizabeth is the director of Victims of Choice.

Tell us about your abortion experience.

In 1976 we had been married 15 months when I conceived. Due to our selfishness and immaturity we believed the lie that because abortion was legal it must be okay.

Deep down in my belief system, I knew I was planning to end the life of my child by having an abortion. The pressures I felt caused me to lay those beliefs aside and allow my husband to take me for the procedure about 7 weeks after conception.I went to a Planned Parenthood facility in Cleveland, the one my family physician told me about. The counseling I received was all designed to be sure I had an abortion that day.

One 'counseling' session was with 10 to 15 other women sitting around a conference table; we were shown an empty uterine model as a very young woman explained how the abortion was performed.

One woman asked "Will it hurt?"

She was told, "No, only a prick and some pressure."

Another woman asked about the tiny print at the bottom of the consent form. She was told, "Don't worry with reading all that, nothing ever happens to women during an abortion, just sign your forms and pass them to me, please do this quickly."During another counseling session with 5 or 6 other women, I was asked why I wanted an abortion. I answered by saying I was afraid I would not be a good mother. To which the response came: "Oh, you will make a great mother because you are so caring, but later on, now is not a good time for you to be a mother."

Another woman volunteered, "I already have two children, I can't afford another." To which the counselor said: "What a caring woman you are, putting your children's needs first. You are fight to not want another child, you would not be able to care for the ones you have if you had another."Later, during a one-on-one session with an older woman, I was asked about my faith and would my church approve of abortion. I said I didn't think it would, and had the thought that she might call to find out. Instead, she said, “It is your turn now, so come with me.” When the abortion provider came into the room, he/she did not look at me, and did not speak to me. With my feet already in the stirrups, I was told to slide down more. I was told to relax my legs as the provider pressed against the insides of my knees. A woman in white stood to my left and had her hand on my shoulder, if felt as though she was pressing me to the table. I have not yet forgotten the deafening silence that filled the room when the suction machine was turned off.Fortunately, my blood had been typed, A+; and was told I would have to have an injection that would make sure I didn't have any problems later. No one explained what problems would be averted by this injection, nor did they explain what medication I was receiving. After spending about an hour in the recovery room, I was told I could leave. When I met my husband in the hallway near the elevator, I remember I hated him so very much and vowed he would pay. It was more than 15 years before I began to come out of denial of the abortion as well as the choices I made afterwards having anything to do with the abortion. It took a few more years before I really embraced God's mercy, grace, forgiveness and reconciliation by forgiving my husband and extending grace and mercy to him. It's funny how guilt, bitterness and resentment became a non issue once I forgave my husband and extended him the same mercy and grace God lavished upon me.

Was there a turning point when you realized there was a way to find healing?

What started me on a path toward confessing my sin, forgiving those involved and embracing God's provision of reconciliation were individuals who were moral enough, brave enough, and convinced God's moral law says abortion is sin. They said it in a loving yet somewhat 'in your face' way that caused me to accept the truth that my child died when I had an abortion.

After I came out of denial enough to face my sin, I began to seek to make restitution. In God's perfect timing, I was lead to a woman who took me through the one-on-one program developed by Victims of Choice. This began my journey, a journey I am still traveling by God's abundant grace.

A few years after completing what is now called "My Abortion Grief Guilt And Shame Is Ending Soon" I became the director of Victims Of Choice, a Christian, nonprofit, after abortion care ministry.

Bottom line - I believe being told and finally believing - that God forgives, restores and transforms women and men who have participated in the death of their unborn - opened the door to this journey that allowed me to totally embrace God's truth about me, my sin and His forgiveness. God established the law 'thou shalt not kill'. He also established the way to be reconciled if that law is broken. God's mercy and grace is infinite, unfathomable, abundant, sufficient for today, is impartial and is available to anyone who confesses (agrees with God) their sin.

I am thankful you give women who have abortion in their past a voice – a chance to tell the truth about abortion and forgiveness. Tell us about Victims of Choice.

Victims of Choice is a Christian, nonprofit, ministry founded in 1985 by two women who had experienced abortion and who wanted to help bring healing to themselves and to others. With the assistance of many, a one-on-one Therapy Model was developed to address the many facets of dealing with post-abortion denial, trauma, negative fallout, guilt and shame and unresolved grief.

Our mission statement "to equip/train women and men to minister God's forgiveness, healing and reconciliation to women and men who are experiencing unresolved guilt, grief and shame following abortion" is carried out by offering onsite Abortion Recovery Facilitator Training to equip individuals and organizations to establish and conduct successful ministry. Victims Of Choice offers printed materials: Brochures, information packets and our Abortion Recovery Facilitator Guidebook which is both a training tool and contains the 10 sessions for "My Abortion Grief Guilt And Shame Is Ending Soon" which is conducted one-on-one over the course of 12 weeks.

We provide speakers who tell about their pre and post abortion experiences and how God has used what Victims Of Choice designed to bring them to Himself. World wide referrals to local abortion healing ministries and local facilitation are available through our office.

What is the most important thing pro-life people can do to make a difference?

As a whole, when it comes to healing abortion related hurts the Church continues to shoot their wounded!

Though that is changing; still in most denominations, mainline and independent, traditional and non-traditional - abortion is not talked about except to condemn the practice; which often sounds like condemnation of the ones who had an abortion. This message is not balanced with Gods' forgiveness, grace and mercy for those who have sinned this sin.

It seems that in the Church it is okay to be divorced - there is support groups for divorced men and women. It is getting to be more okay to be a never-married single parent, there are all kinds of support for them and their children. It is okay to be alcoholic - again support groups are available' for drug abusers' pornography users - support groups and counseling is offered in the local church. Overeaters have Weigh Down Workshop. I’m glad but, I must ask, where are the support groups or workshops for women and men who are hurting from having participated in the death of their unborn through abortion?

David Reardon of Elliot Institute said (not quoted) We need God to clear our guilt away, we need the Church to clear our shame.

A few years ago I said to Joe Scheidler, founder and Director of Pro-Life Action League in Chicago, "Joe, you and others like yourself who are on the front lines don't know what to do with us women who walked past you, thumbing our noses (and possibly other parts of our anatomy) at your pleas to not abort our unborn. You find it hard to forgive us because we told you, 'Go, home!', 'Get a real job - it's my choice', or 'I have not other choice'. And now we are saying our choice hurts and we want you to help us heal. You just don't know what to do with us, do you?"

Joe seemed to take that in for a moment and responded, "You are right, we really don't know what to do with you.

"Well, here is what you can do with us, Joe: Know that God's mercy and grace extends to even those who have caused the death of an unborn by abortion. Remember that 'but for the grace of God go I'. If we all do this, we will all have a much more humble heart towards those who fail to uphold God's moral standards by ending the life of an unborn by abortion. Remember "all have sinned and come short of the grace of God." And "if you confess your sin, I [God] am gracious to forgiven you of those sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

I believe women with abortion in their past are still an untapped resource in bringing the message that abortion is not the answer to a difficult or unplanned conception. We know from experience, that when they hear from us how abortion created more problems than it solved; women who are abortion vulnerable or abortion minded, change their minds and find the way to let their unborn child live. We speak from experience and we know what we are talking about.

Neither in the Church nor the pro-life movement is it 'us against them' when it comes to women and men who have experienced an abortion. We all need God's grace and mercy - abundantly.

Elizabeth Verchio,
Executive Director
PO Box 815Naperville, IL 60566-0815, USA
E-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Website:www.VictimsOfChoice.com
Toll Free: 888.267.3998
Tel: 630.378.1680